Take Me To Church

This has been a very expensive last week of the month as we had to replace our WiFi router, our fridge water filter and a few other random items. We also ran out of electricity so had to top that up. All relatively small things which added up. As a result we have been on a very tight budget for the last few weeks.

I have to ask does everyone who has a fridge with a built in water dispenser in the door know that you have to change the filters? If not, prepare yourself as they are bloody expensive! But in the long run it is cheaper than buying bottled water and it is better for the environment to not be disposing of all of those bottles, so I guess that it is the best of the possible evils of water consumption.

To try and keep our expenditures down, Norm did a small shop last week and he cooked for us several nights.

He grilled fillet steak and halloumi cheese and served it with stir fried vegetables and mushrooms fried in butter on Monday.

I made a big pot of chilli con carne when I got home on Tuesday and we left it overnight to let the flavors develop. For that night’s dinner Norm made chicken sausage, mashed sweet potato and gravy with steamed veggies. It was really cold outside and it was a yummy homely meal which we ate in front of the fire.

On Tuesday night we had my chilli over nacho chips. We topped it with grated cheddar cheese and a big dollop of fromage frais.

The next night I boiled some rice and we had the last of the chilli with rice, cheese and fromage frais.

I love chilli con carne so I was happy!

On Friday we dusted off the credit card for burgers from The Kitchen Takeaway. I have my limits, I prefer to not cook on a Friday if I have been working that week.

On Saturday Norm was at a conference and Josh was out all day at the track. I had an early appointment to take Pixie to the doggy Chiro in Noordhoek.

It was raining on and off on the journey across the mountain and it was really dreary out. The wind was howling.

I came back home starving & freezing cold.

We had bare cupboards but we had some bread in the freezer so I took out two pieces to thaw while I made a big fire to warm up the house. Once the fire was on the go I went to sort something to eat.

I had a couple of eggs in the fridge so I beat them til smooth and dipped the thawed slices of bread into the eggs and then fried the eggy bread in butter.

I topped the French toast with a bit of honey and cinnamon and it was delicious.

I snuggled up in front of the fire and played games on my iPad while waiting for the house to warm up.

Eventually all 5 animals were clustered round me. Panda was not impressed that Pixie was in my lap as he thinks that is his exclusive territory.

Norm got home about 4.30 in the afternoon and he quickly took the dogs out for a walk as the intermittent downpours had stopped for a bit.

I put together a few bits from the fridge and freezer for mine and Norm’s dinner while he was out with the dogs. I chopped a large carrot, a baby red cabbage, a Birdseye chili, an onion and some spices and fried them in coconut oil. Once the veg was cooked I chucked in some left over rice and made a stir fried rice type of concoction. I baked some breaded prawns which I had in the freezer from Woolies. I made a sweet & sour sauce and drizzled it over the prawns. We had a bit of left over salad from our take away on Friday which we added to our bounty. Put all together it was very tasty even if it did not look so amazing.

I love the challenge of creating a meal when ‘we have no food’.

Sunday morning I had to be at drumming at 10am so I was up and out and off to Constantia. There was a massive roadblock going out of our village with many police stopping and searching cars and checking for paperwork. Luckily I did not get stopped as I was really late. I assumed they were stopping the taxis to check their documentation and road worthiness (road worthiness is not a concept they have in South Africa, you see cars on the road which appear to be held together with bubble gum and glue and about every 5th car does not have both headlights functioning, some have none.)

At drumming we had a great turn out in attendance and we sang our entire repertoire from our song list and my voice was a bit croaky afterwards. We are drumming for a dance in a few weeks and needed the practice. It was lovely seeing everyone. I always feel so in touch with the universe after singing our prayer songs, I feel it is my church, my place of worship.

After I came home I collected Norm and we went off to Hout Bay village for something to eat and to do a shop. We popped into the German restaurant Zur Holzbucht. The England game was on but it was quiet, but they had all of the doors open and it was freezing!

To cope with the cold we both ordered the Pork Goulash which was on special.

The waiter brought a huge bowl of steaming goulash to me and said, “Enjoy”.

Norm and I looked at each other a bit confused and said “But we both ordered this dish” and the waiter said that was the last portion.

How odd! Why did he not say that when we ordered? Now we each had to eat on our own and we had to wait for them to cook Norm’s food.

Norm chose the frikkadels with spatzle and slaw. A frikkadel is a meatball for those who do not know. Spatzle is a sort of home made noodle. He said his lunch was very nice. I could only eat half of mine and he had the rest the next day for his lunch. Waste not, starve not. He enjoyed it too, it was really rich and delicious.

As it was so cold there we finished our lunch and headed off to the shops. We bought enough food for 3 meals, each of which would also provide me and Norm with lunch the day after.

On Sunday evening we had a ready made roast chicken that we bought that afternoon and Norm made cole slaw to go with it. As we had a big lunch we just needed a few nibbles that evening and that did us just fine. I made a chicken and cole slaw sandwich for my lunch on Monday too.

When I got to work on Monday I received a message from Norm asking if I was safe and telling me that Hout Bay Police held an operation early that morning to arrest a wanted man in Imizamo Yethu (the township next to our house). The 28 year old suspect resisted arrest and tried to stab the police officers and the police fired 2 warning shots. The suspect has been charged for 4 robbery cases, possession of ammunition & a dangerous weapon as well as resisting arrest.

Apparently I drove right through the midst of this shootout as it occurred near the graveyard by my house the same time that I was on the way to work. I was oblivious! However when I drove in on Tuesday there were loads of vans and police cars near the township entrance so I wondered if there was another raid or police operation in place. Then I read on social media that from Sunday, 24 May to Tuesday, 26 of May from 05:00 daily taxi operations were conducted in the Hout Bay area. Members of the Wynberg Cluster, Hout Bay SAPS, Law Enforcement and Metro Police held several vehicle check points where more than 100 vehicles were checked. A total of 459 Traffic fines to the value of more than R100 000 were issued.

However when we read reports about the city scrapping R854million in traffic fines you wonder why they bother.

On Monday evening when I got home Norm was heading out to assist with directing traffic as a large truck had broken down on the side of the Main road into the village. He was away for hours and so I built a big fire and started dinner. I put some chicken breasts in a pan, chopped up a pepper and some mushrooms and made some chicken stock. I mixed the chicken stock with some coconut milk and covered the chicken and vegetables and baked it. To go with it I steamed some gem squash and stir fried some baby spinach and roasted some butternut in coconut oil. I added a bit of the sauce from the chicken into the gem squash.

It was all rather delicious if I say so myself. It also gave me and Norm enough leftovers for our lunches on Tuesday.

We had also bought some minced beef as that is great for stretching for a few meals. The plan was that Norm would cook the mince during the day and then we just had to sort the veggies but the electricity was off in our neighbourhood for the entire day so he went to a cafe to work and our best laid plans were derailed.

Instead when I got home I started dinner and then when Norm got home he took over. We fried a whole chopped onion, a carrot and a red pepper with the rest of the mushrooms left over from the previous night. Once they were browned we removed from the pan and fried the mince. Then we added in some spices, a tin of beans, tomato paste and a container of beef stock. We just let it condense down while I roasted some chopped butternut and sweet potato in coconut oil. To give a bit of green we sauteed the remainder of the baby spinach from the previous night.

It was very tasty and nutritious.

Later that night it started raining a bit and this morning I woke to torrential rainfall. When I left home the roads from my house to the coast road were all flooded with deep rivers of flowing water. As it is pitch black at 6:30am and we have no street lights over most of our village it was so hazardous. Visibility was very poor as it was raining down in sheets. I was so worried my car would flood. There was little traffic at that time as the school kids are off on holiday this week so luckily I could drive on the other side of the road to avoid most of the flooding without risking a head on collision.

But do not get me wrong, we are thrilled with the rain! We desperately need it, however all of the construction in our area has destroyed the natural paths of rainfall off of the mountain and the scarcity of rain has meant that the ground is very dry and the rain just scoots overland and pools into the roads, taking dirt and debris with it. Tomorrow the roads will be full of sand, dirt and rocks.

Today Patricia De Lille, our Mayor of Cape Town is in court. Her party are desperate to get her out of office. There have been ongoing claims of misuse of funds, collusion with criminals and negligence of her duties. The way that the drought has been handled has been incredibly ham-fisted and blundering. We hear that she is involved with the darker elements of our village and that payments have been made to the elders & illegal slumlords to allow her to subvert the planning regulations. She cares not for the law, she is a mini dictator. I do hope that they manage to remove her or the DA has no chance to maintain their hold in the Western Cape in the next elections. Patricia is like an abusive husband, unwilling to let his victim escape from his grasp, preferring to see his victim decimated than to survive without being under his domination and control.

And we all know how I feel about abusive relationships, especially when my beloved Mother City is the one being victimised.

I will update you on the outcome on my next blog. Until then, Kisses from the Kitten x0x0x0

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Baby Daddy

The World Cup has kicked off and our office has been bitten by the fever. We were designated teams and so the office has allowed each team to decorate their section with the team colours.

My section got England.

My British colleague brought in a flag for us.

Last week flew by as work is quite busy. I was keen on a weekend of relaxation.

Lucky for me Norm cooked most of the week and kept us on track with low carb eating.

He made a gorgeous bolognaise and served it over low carb spinach noodles the first night. He made roast veggies to go with it.

The next night he made the rest of the sauce into a low carb lasagna. He used zucchini instead of pasta sheets. It was delicious.

On Friday night Norm and I were watching telly and chilling out in front of the fire. Lola was cuddling with me.

Then we heard over the neighbourhood watch radio that there was a fire at Clay Cafe which is just up the road from our house. We dashed upstairs to look from the balcony and we could see huge flames leaping above the trees several miles away. We heard continuous explosions but were not sure what was exploding.

Next day we saw on social media a post about the damage that had been done by the fires and explosions.

This is the venue where we went for my last birthday to paint plates. You can see everyone’s pottery shattered in bits strewn across the lawns. I love this venue and I do hope that they get back in full operation soon. I am just glad that no one was injured in the fire.

On Saturday we did not have to be up and out so Norm and I had a slow morning drinking coffee in bed then eventually made our way downstairs to make brunch. I made some ‘flapjacks’ from Banting on the Go. I had thought from the pic that a flapjack in South Africa was just a pancake in American-speak.

FYI: It is not. It is more like a crumpet so I had to add tons of milk but they were still quite stodgy.

Norm made scrambled cheesy eggs and bacon to go with it all. I used a tiny bit of honey to sweeten my ‘flapjack_wannabe_pancakes’. In the end it was all really tasty and set us up for the rest of the day.

Not that we did much of anything. It was really cold and rainy on and off all week. We are so grateful for the rain. Hopefully this pushes day zero even further away, except now we read that it was all somewhat of a farce!

I was chatting to my Mom on the weekend and when I told her we had received a lot of rain she said ‘does that mean you can wash your hair more than once a week?’ She knows all about Day Zero and what it could mean for us residents to have our taps turned off. I thought that really sums up the way my mother thinks. Quite frankly, I don’t give AF how my hair looks!

Anyway.

Later on Saturday evening Norm and I decided to get a take away from Indian Oven.

We ordered our usual order, I had the prawn curry, we shared saag aloo and some spinach bhajis. We usually love their food but the last two visits the prawns have not been nice. They taste like they just thawed out some frozen prawns from Woolies and chucked them into the sauce. Their prawns used to be de-shelled and tasted like they were quickly fried and then added. There is a difference in both texture and shape. They are now not very nice at all. I could not finish them.

I won’t order that dish again, I will have to find an alternative as this is the only decent Indian food venue in Hout Bay. The rest of the food was nice, the spinach bahjis were a bit doughy but edible. The saag aloo is always yum.

My daughters Lily and Caitlin were both down in Cape Town for their friend Jess’s hen weekend and on Sunday we were surprised when my daughter in law Amber and Caitlin both popped in to take Norm out for Father’s Day brunch. We did not know that Amber was in town so it was a lovely surprise to see her. Her newly cut and coloured hair is so cute! It makes her eyes look so blue.

Caitlin had booked us into a local Hout Bay favourite, La Cuccina.

Norm and I like it here and often pop in for breakfast or lunch. It is a lovely open and airy venue.

I ordered the Sweetcorn Fritters Breakfast for R75:
Sweetcorn fritters with two poached eggs, oven roasted plum tomatoes and crispy streaky bacon, topped with homemade tomato chilli jam.

It was delicious but the fritters were a wee bit soft for my liking. The bacon was crispy and the eggs soft however and it was all very tasty. The chilli jam adds a nice tinge of sweet spicyness.

Norm ordered the Full Breakfast at R85. It consisted of two eggs, crispy streaky bacon, beef sausage, mushroom, roasted plum tomato and two slices of toast.

It was so lovely to see the girls. Caitlin has been so busy lately we have not seen her very often and Amber has been working away at sea a lot and we had not seen her in 6 months. Amber had not seen Caitlin’s new flat or met her kittens so she was going to stay over another night in Cape Town with Caitlin.

After we finished I could not resist a cheeky piece of Lemon Meringue Cake. It is a lemon cheesecake topped with meringue. It was delicious but I could only manage half and I took the rest home for afternoon tea.

The girls were struggling a bit from their weekend of drinking and partying and they headed off to Caitlin’s place after brunch.

I love that my kids make an effort to celebrate Norman on Father’s Day. He has been such a wonderful supportive step-dad to them and I am so happy that they recognise that. I am so blessed to have this kind, wonderful man in my life. It doesn’t hurt that he is sexy and has that Scottish accent.

For the rest of the day Norm and I had a lazy afternoon. Norm was surrounded by his pack of Pomeranians.

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❤️

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We built a roaring fire and settled in for some Netflix binging.

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Snuggly Sundays ❤️🔥❤️

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When we were at La Cuccina we decided to pick up a couple of their ready meals to just chuck in the oven for that evening’s dinner. We chose the Vegan sweet potato cottage pie and the Vegetarian aubergine, spinach and butternut bake. We topped both with cheese and baked for half an hour. They were both really tasty and we will definitely try these again.

That night in the middle of the night Norm and I were woken by a bang. When I say ‘woken’, I am only partially correct as I do not remember anything. Norm says I sat up and we had a long conversation but I don’t remember it. We have a set of 3 paintings which hang above our bed and one of these fell off in the night and crashed onto the bed with a bang.

The next morning when Norm mentioned it happening I immediately thought of my father since it happened on Father’s Day and my Dad has sent me messages like this before on other days of significance such as his birthday.

I know that I am being watched over by both my father and my maternal grandmother. It makes me feel protected and very grateful.

Our spirits never die, they simply transform from one form to another.

We repeat various patterns until we resolve our character defects, but even that condition is temporary. Some of us take longer than others to resolve those issues. We often rub up against the same souls ad infinitum until we finally resolve that particular soul contract we have been dancing around for many incarnations.

I spoke to yet another friend this week who is a survivor of domestic abuse. This type of relationship is inconceivable to anyone who hasn’t been involved in one. Abusers, like many serial killers, have an incredibly high level of charisma. They are able to turn on the friendly, charming part of their personality and make a woman feel like she is incredibly special and well loved. They often pick lonely women who have been on their own for a while and are almost desperately lonely. They choose their victims. After building the woman up for several months they slowly start to tear them down, bit by bit, chipping away at her confidence and often her sanity. He will exhibit violence or intense anger, then try and make the woman think it is her that is either the cause, or that she is overreacting or ‘hysterical’. The violence escalates, the woman often living in such terror and insecurity that she feels she deserves no better or that she is the reason for the anger.

Even mental abusers follow the same patterns, first making the woman feel he cannot survive without her, that she is amazing and he adores her. Then the little misogynistic jibes start, talking down the gender and then targeting her specifically. Denigrating her intelligence or capabilities and making her feel less than in order to make him feel superior. I almost think emotional abuse is harder to recognize. When they thump you the bruises are visible, when they use words to destroy you it can be harder to identify and women are culturally indoctrinated to believe what men say, they are superior aren’t they? It takes a switched on woman to recognize these behaviors. It takes a strong one to realize it is better to be alone than with half a man.

It is a long psychological game that positions the woman to be willing to allow her boundaries to be pushed or even violated.

It is something that will make or break you. It almost broke me, but I realized that only I had the power to make better choices. That I deserve to be happy and respected.

That I am a Fucking Goddess TYVM.

If I don’t believe it, then no one else will, right?

Until next time, Kisses from the Kitten xoxoxo

More That Binds Than Tears Apart

I recently heard on the radio that there is indeed such a thing as Man Flu. Apparently there is research which proves that men are more incapacitated by illness than women. That is the good news for you dudes lolling about clutching your tissues and Vitamin C and suffering with a case of severe helplessness. The bad news is that the reason you are so helpless is that men are the weaker sex. Women may tend to be weaker physically due to their size and musculature, but we are superior in every other way.

Hey, don’t blame me, it has been validated by science.

Dr. Kyle Sue, a medical professor at a Canadian university performed the analysis. Several studies he cited suggest that female mice have stronger immune systems than their male counterparts, and that gender hormones have a direct effect on the immune system.

A 2013 study from Stanford University found that women’s antibodies tend to respond more rapidly to an injection of the flu virus than men’s antibodies. The study also found that men with higher testosterone levels tended to have the weakest antibody response. As a result, the study suggests that testosterone suppresses the immune system, while estrogen boosts it.

This explains why the flu has decimated me and had such a strong effect. Menopause results in a decrease in estrogen and an increase in testosterone. I often joke that I have more testosterone than most blokes, based on my hirsutism and aggressive, snarky personality. Apparently this may be true.

I started feeling dodgy weekend before last and by the following Wednesday it was coming on thick and fast. I still made it to work that Thursday and Friday but on Friday I was not fit for thinking much less working and after our morning meeting I came home and went straight to bed. I spent Saturday in bed popping every medication possible in the hopes that I was well enough to attend my friend Melanie’s 50th birthday party which was last Saturday night, however it was not to be. I was feeling like death that night and knew I was in no state to be partying much less did I want to go and spread my germs and create some sort of epidemic. On Sunday I was due to go drumming but I was not fit for that either. I took both Monday and Tuesday off of work and barely left my bed for 4 days. Wednesday I worked from home but I did not make it for a full day, I crashed in the afternoon.

I had plenty of company, Lola never left my side and Panda popped in and out depending on how cold he was and where his beloved Daddy was at the time.

Norm brought me breakfast and lunch in bed.

I got up to go downstairs for dinner if only to give my back a bit of a rest. Norm has been cooking healthy banting meals most of the time. This was various squash, sweet potato and roast pork.

He made a delicious beef and bean curry with cauliflower rice and poppadoms.

He built a roaring fire each night, wrapped me up in furry blankets and settled me in with a tray.

Tonight he made fillet steak, perfectly pink inside yet crusty outside, exactly the way I like it. The man now has a meat thermometer FFS. He is Jamie Oliver in a kilt. He boiled sweet potatoes, fried red cabbage in balsamic and butter and steamed some mixed broccoli, green beans and zucchini. It was simple yet delicious.

He has been so good to me. I could not have coped without him as the congestion was making my vertigo worse so my head was spinning like a top. I walked like a crab for a few days, skittering sideways, holding onto the wall and bumping into things due to my dizziness. It was like drinking a bottle of wine without the happy part.

Thursday I went back into the office and then also worked Friday and today. After work today I finally gave up and went to my GP. He listened to my lungs and my cough and decided I have a chest infection and he has put me on antibiotics.

We did venture out of our nest for a wee bit on Saturday night as we were invited out to our friend Helen’s birthday celebrations at Quentin’s which is just up the road. We said that if it was the UK then one of the restaurants in that area would be our local and we would walk there, however to do that here in SA would require risking our lives. In fact, when Helen and her friend drove home from dinner that night about midnight they had giant rocks thrown at their cars and a lot of damage was done. They were driving past the township at the police station when it occurred.

Yes. This happened right opposite the police station.

Welcome to Africa.

If that was the UK there would be manned CCTV in place and if that horror did occur it would be nipped in the bud immediately instead of happening to at least 4 other people that night according to the number of posts from the victims.

It was a dreadful end to a lovely evening. There were about 20 or more of us and we had two tables. It’s a lovely venue and the winter special is on.

I chose the avocado ritz to start.

It was nicely done, the avocado was ripe but firm, the prawns were fresh and perfectly cooked and the sauce was light and nice.

For my main course I chose the Roast Loin of Kingklip. It was all Banting which was nice as my dessert definitely wasn’t!

The fish was perfectly cooked, very firm in texture. The sauce was lovely and the spinach was tasty.

For dessert I chose the dark chocolate pudding. I was so eager to tuck in I didn’t snap a pic. Oops. It was so rich and decadent. I would have liked a bit of ice cream to cut through the richness of the chocolate but it was really creamy and gooey and lovely.

We didn’t last very late we were home about 11pm. We were one of the first to go but I was still feeling a bit rough. Norm snapped a pic of Helen and I on our way home.

On Sunday Norm just picked up a roast chicken and made some salads for a late lunch. My friend Retha popped round for a few minutes and had lunch with us. Norm and I spent the rest of the day snuggled up on the settee watching movies. We built a big fire and the critters all gathered round.

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Lazy Sundays ❤️

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One thing about being ill was that I watched a lot of Netflix. When I watch on my own I try to find things I know Norm will not enjoy and as a result I chose a documentary series called “The Keepers“. It is a heart-wrenching series and for any other survivors of sexual abuse, there are triggers galore in this story. I found it a very difficult yet riveting story to watch. Like a train smash.

It is based in Baltimore Maryland in the USA and it tells the story of years of sexual abuse and deviant behaviour by several Catholic priests charged with the care of children. It is revealed that not only did the nuns and various other people at the schools or churches know about the abuse, but so did the Baltimore Diocese who chose to rather cover up the abuse than to deal with the issue of negligence in their duty of care. In fact, after the abuse was reported in the ’60’s by an altar boy who was attending St. Clement Parish, Father Maskell was removed from the parish and put in charge of looking after young girls at Archbishop Keough High School which was a girls only convent school. This gave Maskell and his colleagues free rein to abuse these girls in some horrific ways. They even brought in other pedophiles to be serviced by the girls in the priest’s offices on the school grounds. The girls all remembered that they were raped by police officers and various other men and that even Dr. Christian Richter, a local gynecologist colluded in the abuse. Maskell was also chaplain for the Baltimore police department during that time and he was good friends with the police chief at the time. Maskell’s brother was a police officer. The breadth of the cover up reaches right to the level of at least a Bishop and goes down deeply into the seedy echelons of the people who worked as police, those who had a duty to serve and protect the community.

There were several murders which have been linked to the perpetrators of the sexual abuse, one was the death of a nun, Sister Cathy, who knew about the abuse and was thought to have confronted the abusers and was subsequently murdered. The other death was a woman who resembled the nun. There are other rumors of deaths which people now think could be related to Maskell and his deviancy. None of them have been solved.

One of the ‘girls’ who seemed to have been a particularly favoured target of their abuse has since recovered many of her suppressed memories about that time and even recovered a memory of Maskell taking her to view the body of Sister Cathy. This victim had gone to Cathy to ask for help in dealing with the abuse. The priest had told her when he took her to see the body that if she told anyone else about the abuse she would end up in the same situation as Sister Cathy.

The concept of Recovered Memories was quite new at the time the 2 survivors had taken their case to court. This as well as the long period of time between the abuse and the charges was used as a means to suppress the case. There should be no statute of limitations on abuse of a child.

The church representatives tormented the witnesses and tried to diminish and intimidate them. In the end the church and the courts colluded to stop the case going forward to trial. No one has been prosecuted for the death of the two women nor the dozens of sexual abuse victims who came forward. The Church has subsequently paid off several of the surviving victims of the abuse who incriminated Father Maskell. They call it compensation but we all know it was guilt money which they hoped would make it all go away.

They don’t realise it is never about the money.

The #MeToo movement has empowered many victims to come forward. Many of these people were victimized decades ago but have not come forward for various reasons. Many victims repress all memory of the abuse.

I did not remember being abused as a small child until many years later when I was a mother myself. An episode of trauma triggered all of the memories to rush in just after Trevor was born. It all came hurtling back. I fully believe that our minds can restrict us ‘viewing’ information which we are unable to process or endure. Complete escapism. It’s a survival mechanism.

I was in a conversation the other day with 2 other women. All three of us are survivors of an abusive first marriage. We all found it hard to believe as we are all really forthright almost bolshy women. I know that my past is why I am who I am. I am a survivor. I know that whatever life throws my way cannot be worse than the things I have already made it through. This gives me a sense of bravery I might not otherwise feel.

I have a strong bond with the underdog and my kids call me Mama Bear. Woe betide anyone who messes with my children. Even though my eldest is 6’6″ and just turned 32 this week I still feel protective over him. At some point I’ll have to hand over that baton I guess! For now I am happy being Mama Bear.

We are hoping Norm hears some good news about his ongoing visa dramas this week, so we will appreciate any good vibes you can send our way.

Until next time, kisses from the Kitten xoxoxox